Estate Planning for Family Unity
Family Unity?
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Most people have experienced conflict or heard of families that have split after the death of an older family member. Conflicts are a natural part of life, but not all conflicts have to happen. This article describes some things that people can do to maintain family unity after the person dies or becomes disabled.
Unless a family is completely divided, most children and grandchildren feel some bond to each other during an ancestor’s lifetime. It is almost as if the older person provides glue to bind the family together. As long as that person remains alive, younger generations within the family may behave well toward each other for no other reason than to honor the older person. After the matriarch or patriarch dies, however, the family glue often dissolves and relationships fall apart. Action by the older person to avoid future family meltdowns can be effective.
One source of conflict within families is the decision of what to do about an ailing older family member’s health. The decision of whether and how to treat an older family member’s declining health can be stressful and can strain family relationships. The older person can relieve those burdens by speaking plainly about his or her wishes before a crisis strikes. We encourage people to think specifically about the quality of life they would want to live, the things they would want to be able to do, and under what circumstances the person would not want to receive emergency care and hospital treatment. These decisions are deeply personal and each person must decide things for himself or herself and should communicate them very specifically to as many members of the family as possible or appropriate. A person’s quality of life notion may focus on such things as the ability to recognize family members; to feed himself or herself; or the ability to speak and communicate with others.
What to do with a person’s assets can also divide family members. In some families, family heirlooms and memorabilia can trigger very passionate feelings. A properly designed estate plan can resolve some of that tension by either specifying who should receive each item or providing a process that gives each family member some say in how the distribution occurs. For instance, if a person must move into assisted living or nursing home care without bringing personal belongings from home, he or she may minimizing future conflict by directing the family how to sell the residence and dispose of his or her person’s personal belongings instead of leaving the family to solve those problems later. It may seem strange for family members to divide a person’s personal belongings before the person’s death, but the person’s glue-like effects on the family can help the family liquidate and distribute real estate and personal belongings more peacefully than if the family waits until their ancestor’s death.
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Jeff R. Hawkins and Jennifer J. Hawkins are Trust & Estate Specialty Board Certified Indiana Trust & Estate Lawyers. Jeff is a Fellow of the American College of Trust and Estate Counsel and the 2014-15 Indiana State Bar Association President . © Copyright 2014 Hawkins Law PC.
